Dual
by DoceoPercepto
Summary: Honda has a theory that maybe if he treats both personalities the same, and pretends that everything isn't falling apart, the stress of possession will be lessened for Bakura.


Everyone walks on eggshells around Bakura now; everyone but Honda, who pretends that everything is all right and fine no matter what psyche emerges or when. Honda has a theory, see, that maybe if he treats both personalities the same, and pretends that everything isn't falling apart, the stress of possession will be lessened for Bakura.

That means that when Bakura wakes up in the morning, Honda has to be there with a smile, even when he's not sure which personality will greet him back.

It might be placid and friendly Ryou, trembling with some fresh horror his other self made him see. If so, then Honda is guaranteed to receive an apology (or many) for crimes that Ryou himself most definitely didn't commit. The crimes are never specified, of course, and Ryou doesn't remember them himself – but damn him if he doesn't apologize every time, guessing that he's done something awful.

Or it might be the other Bakura, all spitfire and rage, snarling in a language long dead before remembering his time and place. This Bakura is quick to tear Honda apart with words – to deride him for caring about someone so far gone, to promise threats to Ryou, to Honda himself, to any of his friends. This Bakura leaves for long hours with no explanation. Stopping him is near suicide – Honda knows because he tried once, and Bakura's rage was quick to redirect onto him.

Everyone else thinks that Honda is crazy for trying to stay friends with Bakura. They don't say so, but he sees it in their eyes sometimes. They're just waiting, waiting for Bakura to reveal his true colors and emerge as their rival once and for all. They'll defeat him, banish him, and then – _only then_ – will they work on healing Ryou's wounds, and building up friendship again. What is the point, after all, of trying to fix someone who's tied to a train plummeting from the tracks? No, no… wait until the crash is over, and then salvage what's left.

Not that they _mean_ to be cold, or heartless. Honda can understand their logic, even if he doesn't agree with it – especially since he knows as well as them that trying to help Ryou now is synonymous with tying himself to that train. It's much more logical to keep distance from Bakura.

That way, you don't have to listen to his screaming at night.

You don't have to see him throwing up from sheer exhaustion.

You don't have to feel his increasingly prominent ribs every time he hugs you and begs you not to leave.

And gods above, you don't have to experience those soft sad smiles he gives when he pretends he's totally okay as everything is falling apart

It's true… ignoring Bakura would be the safest route.

But Honda can't. Sometimes he wishes he could. But he can't.

Jounouchi tries to be more sympathetic than the others. Because of his close friendship with Honda, he makes a greater effort to treat Bakura like a regular human being. But even Jounouchi's patience has limits. After three successive personality changes during one mealtime (Yami Bakura was feeling particularly volatile), Jounouchi throws in the proverbial towel and tells Honda he can go screw himself, because he's not tolerating Bakura's shit if he doesn't have to.

Honda doesn't blame him. His own dedication to Bakura really seems to just draw trouble his way, since Yami Bakura isn't oblivious to his sympathy. The spirit in the Ring instead seems to find a great amount of amusement in toying with Honda, teasing him for trying to take care of his host, threatening him for getting too close.

It doesn't stop Honda. He has to be there for his friends, Bakura included.

So when, one day, Honda walks in to find Bakura standing in the middle of the kitchen, a knife loosely held in his hand, Honda knows he needs to help.

There's no aggression whatsoever in Bakura's stance. He's breathing hard, wide-eyed, and letting out little whimpers that Honda is certain he wouldn't make if he knew someone was watching.

"Bakura," Honda murmurs; despite their tenderness, the word still make Bakura flinch violently.

Those eyes swerve up and meet Honda's, and the look in them is heartbreaking.

"I'm s-sorry," Ryou whispers. "I'm so sorry. Is... is everyone okay? Did I do something? I'm sorry."

"Sh-shh," Honda wraps an arm around Bakura's bony shoulders. He's thinner. It's just getting worse. Bakura's like someone who just walked off an eating disorder poster. "You didn't do anything, Ryou. It's not your fault."

"I-I don't know what I was doing. I…. It's getting harder to stop him."

"Shh, you're doing good. You're trying your best. Ryou, can you hand over the knife now?"

"Oh, um…"

"Just relax. I've got it." Honda gently works the knife out of Bakura's fingers; Bakura stares at it as if he didn't notice it before.

"Oh," he says gently.

"It's okay. He didn't hurt anyone. You're guilt-free, Ryou!" Honda sets the knife behind him on the counter.

Bakura runs a shaky hand through his hair, then nods. "I'm sorry Honda. Thanks… I'm okay now." He's so far from okay.

"Ah-ah," Honda says sternly. "Why don't you take a break?"

"I'm okay, really." Then Bakura offers up one of those gentle smiles of his, that make him look so horribly like a lamb offered up for sacrifice. "Thank you for looking after me, Honda."

Jeez, someone needs to help this kid. "Hey, it's not for you!" Honda declares. "No, this is for me! I wanted to play a board game, and I figured you'd be the coolest opponent. Come on, sit on the couch and play a game with me."

As Honda steers the white-haired boy to the couch, Bakura's shoulders suddenly go tense beneath his arm. Honda has a fraction of a second to think _oh shit_ before his shoulders square in arrogant confidence.

"I'll play with you," Bakura purrs, "but only if I choose the game. And it'll be a betting match."

"A betting much, huh?" Honda says carefully.

"Yes. A quicky, just for fun. It'll be a dice game," Bakura adds, holding out two six-faced dice. "You roll both die. If the total sum of both die equals more than six, I'll give you your Ryou back for the rest of today. If it's less or equal to six, I'll get to kill you."

It's just a heartbeat of hesitation, then Honda smiles. "Hey, sounds easy enough. You do like high stakes, huh?"

Yami Bakura's eyes narrow by fractions. "You have no fear. It's so boring."

No. Yami Bakura scares the shit out of Honda. But if not showing that fear means he gets Ryou back faster, then hell, full steam ahead. "You easily could kill me," Honda admits, not entirely sure of what he's saying, "But I'm really hoping you won't. That would really upset Ryou... and I know you need your host, right?"

Yami Bakura smiles wryly. "You're betting your life on the off chance I'd spare it for my yadonushi?"

"Guess I'm a betting man," Honda answers, rubbing the back of his head. If this didn't work, he is probably screwed. If Yami Bakura made such a simple game up, then he's either legitimately interested in seeing how the chances played out (with little risk to himself), or he intends to rig the game so that no matter what Honda does, the die turn up always adding up to less than six. Yami Bakura either wants to have a bit of fun, or outright kill Honda. If the latter is true, then Honda isn't sure he can do anything about that. But if the former is true... then the game is still really dangerous to play.

"Excellent." Yami Bakura hands over the dice; Honda stares at them and thinks that it's absurd for his very future to be held in two tiny plastic cubes like this.

"I just roll once and that's it?" he repeats nervously.

"That's it!" Yami Bakura claps his hands together, causing Honda to jump in shock. "You're looking a little off, Honda. Sure you're up to play?"

"Yeah, of course! Easy." Swallowing his doubts, Honda casts the die across the table. The two little cubes bounce, roll, and then settle. One lands on four; the other on a one. Five total. Honda's heart drops.

"I guess you have to kill me," he says with a weak laugh. Inside, his heart is racing and his breath is real short.

Yami Bakura's grin spreads manically across his face. "Well, well. This has been fun and all." He raises up his hand, and he's holding the knife that Honda had taken away from him earlier. "You must be really stupid to bet your life on a game of chance. Why not refuse to play in the first place?"

Honda can't help wondering in panic if he could call for the others and spare his life before Yami Bakura would take it. At the same time, he clings to his belief that he would not be killed. Yami Bakura needs Ryou, and the death of any of his friends can ruin him. "You wanted to play," he answers shakily. "And... and Ryou is my friend. So if you... if I can make his life any better by doing what you want... then... well..."

"Hmm... Decent answer. I hope to play with you again, Honda. And we'll play something a little more... entertaining."

Then, Bakura's shoulders slump. His body sways unsteadily, he blinks. His eyes swerve back to the knife in his hand. "N-no, I'm s-so-"

"Don't." Honda smiles faintly at him, because someone has to be strong for him. "Don't apologize, Bakura. It's not your fault."

It's all worth it when Bakura smiles back. All the fear, all the worry, all the sleepless nights… it's worth it, to see Bakura look a little hopeful.

* * *

A/N: Lol the whole reason I'm in this fandom is because of the abridged series. Screw accuracy. Also I have no idea what Yami Bakura was implying by his last lines and I'm not going there.


End file.
